Abram Sauer Online

15. December 2010

The Ultimate Insurance Pitchman Quiz

Filed under: Gaaaah!, brandchannel, Ha Ha Ha, Advertising, Branding — admin @ 13:02

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Can you name that insurance pitchman?

8. October 2010

Tom Pawlenty PAC Hosts ‘Republican Idol’

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“Being a characteristically tight Minnesotan, outgoing Governor Tim Pawlenty’s Freedom First PAC doesn’t just spend its money all over town.  Oh No.  It wants some value for its bum dollar.

If you are a struggling Republican candidate dreaming about Pawlenty’s gravy pipe of corporate dough — Atria, Qwest, AT&T, Comcast, BNSF, Boeing, even Target! — the governor wants you to motivate your followers into going to the Freedom First website to vote.”

Read my piece for Secrets of the City.

26. September 2010

Los Campesinos!, Budwesier, Dancing!

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During Sunday Night Football, Budweiser debuted a commercial featuring the Los Campesinos! sony “You, Me Dancing.” Below is the song a the commercial isn’t online yet. But the use of the song doesn’t seem to be the end of the band’s involvement with the King of Beers.

A look at the Los Campesinos! Twitter page reveals some pro-Budweiser Tweets. Another after the jump.
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19. September 2010

BP Crew Getting Prime Rib Because Fish Are All Dead

Filed under: Gaaaah!, Failure, Branding — admin @ 11:10

BP enginner on what the crew plans to do once the well survives the final pressure test:

“We’re going to have a good meal together — prime rib.”

It’s a lot to expect your engineers to be a little PR savvy, but, come on guys… you couldn’t maybe say you were going for, like, shrimp or yellowfin. Do you know how good yellowfin is?!

10. September 2010

Nothing Says High Class Like Copyright Infringement

Filed under: Failure, No No NO, Elsewhere, Advertising, Branding, Product Placement — admin @ 19:48

Oh yeah, let’s double down on the rich people movie associations.

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9. September 2010

Glenn Beck: Mac Fanboy

Filed under: Gaaaah!, Elsewhere, Apple Product Placement, Ha Ha Ha, Branding — admin @ 11:03

screen-shot-2010-09-09-at-120408-pm.pngFox News has a really interesting completely insipid “Getting to know Glenn Beck” section at their site. Glenn tells us, among other things, that his favorite book is ‘The Christmas Sweater.’ And yes, Beck answers that in the battle of “Mac vs. PC” he is, in fact, a Mac. 

Rush Limbaugh is also a Mac fan. Huge Mac fan.

8. September 2010

Your Pants are Lying to You

Filed under: No No NO, Gaaaah!, Tricky, Elsewhere, Essays, Ha Ha Ha, Branding — admin @ 08:22

screen-shot-2010-09-08-at-92409-am.pngThis isn’t the subjective business of mediums, larges and extra-larges — nor is it the murky business of women’s sizes, what with its black-hole size zero. This is science, damnit. Numbers! Should inches be different than miles per hour? Do highway signs make us feel better by informing us that Chicago is but 45 miles away when it’s really 72? Multiplication tables don’t yield to make us feel better about badness at math; why should pants make us feel better about badness at health? Are we all so many emperors with no clothes?

Read the rest at Esquire.

After the jump: I’m on the radio with Dave Ross talking about this. (more…)

31. August 2010

Date Advice for Guys: Explain Her Mentrual Cycle to Her

Filed under: No No NO, Gaaaah!, Failure, Ha Ha Ha, Advertising, Branding — admin @ 15:17

Hey ladies, how turned on are you by this hypothetical date?

Yes, this is an actual ad from Stayfree. Here is another.

9. August 2010

The McInnis Plagiarism Pen is a fine black pen!

Filed under: Awesome, Real America, Elsewhere, Ha Ha Ha, Advertising, Branding — admin @ 15:06

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Hello genius. This is an email from the Colorado gubernatorial race. Full text after the jump but this is the best part:

“The McInnis Plagiarism Pen is a fine black pen with a rubber comfort grip, perfect for studying in school or writing the next Great American Novel. Best of all, the user will be constantly reminded of the importance of intellectual honesty.”

(more…)

27. July 2010

Gawker Media Demonstrates How to Wring Every Pageview From a Story

Anything Old Spice related is so hot right now. So how doe you wring every last possible page-view from the phenomenon? Gawker Media, a master of the craft, shows you how. He said, She said!

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