CBS Sports to World: “We Let You Win at Soccer.”
Here is CBS Sports turning a column over to an insane person named Gregg Doyel. Gregg is the most American American of all America. In an actual (not The Onion) column at CBS-fucking-Sports, Gregg argues that the US allows other teams to be better at soccer:
“In some ways, it’s sort of embarrassing for those other countries. After all these years, decades, centuries, they still haven’t diversified athletically. Their grandfathers played soccer. Their grandsons will play soccer. The world changes everywhere else — cars, clothes, technology — but overseas, the sport stays the same. Soccer is all they do. Meanwhile, we moved on. We invented basketball. We invented baseball. We invented American football. If it’s a team sport, we either made it or we perfected it. All but soccer, anyway.”