Abram Sauer Online

26. January 2010

Minnesota Budget Crisis Solved

Filed under: Wisconsin, Ha Ha Ha, North Dakota — admin @ 08:33

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25. January 2010

PlayStation Ad Unconsciously Prescient

Filed under: No No NO, Failure, Essays, Advertising — admin @ 15:43

The recent PlayStation ads have been generally enjoyable, as commercials go. But a recent addition to the campaign (above) is at best ill advised and at worst horribly insulting.The gist is a kid readying for a job interview consults the PlayStation guy:

Kid: “Is it okay to list MAG platoon leader as management experience?”

PlayStation Guy: “Absolutely, you rose through the ranks to command real people in 256-player battles. Your decisions included a constantly evolving war.”

The problem is that reality makes this conversation a sick joke. Returning veterans currently face double the average (already high) unemployment rates. National Publicly Radio sums up the misery:

Another problem for veterans is that their skills aren’t easily understood by employers, Smith says. For instance, someone who managed a warehouse at a military base might be an ideal candidate for certain retail jobs, but it can be hard to convince recruiters he or she is qualified, the labor commissioner says.

Joseph McDonough, who left the Marines a few months ago and still has the closely cropped haircut to show for it, thinks military service doesn’t count for much with potential employers.

“It’s like, ‘Oh, they didn’t go away to college. I went to college. I know more than them.’ They kind of sneer at you,” he says. “The only people who actually see it as being anything glorious are people like senior citizens, who know that somebody sacrificed something.”

Malicious oversight? No. But it further frames the disconnect between Madison Avenue and main street.

Video Sums Up What Favre Fanship Feels Like

Filed under: football, Awesome, Failure — admin @ 10:57

Best part is that he has a tent in his living room.

via Kissing Suzy Kolber

Apple Product Placement Island

City Island, also known as Jersey Shore: 20 Years Later, looks to feature a number of Macs, old and new.

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Also, after the jump, a porn site gets a huge starring turn:

(more…)

24. January 2010

Choire vs Balk

Filed under: Awesome — admin @ 18:31

Go Vikings, History

Filed under: football, Twitter is a Force for Evil, Failure — admin @ 15:38

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Any Given (Jeff) Saturday

Filed under: football, Awesome — admin @ 13:09

I played tight end, guard and center in high school.

Offensive linemen get zero respect. Everyone thinks they are meat.

That is why (with the Jets-Colts game in an hour) this video never grows old.

Goddamn right Jeff Satruday.

23. January 2010

Can Perez Hilton Ever Just be Loved?

Filed under: Tricky, This Could be Longer — admin @ 13:47

who-want-to-fuck-perez-hilton.jpgWould you want to be Perez Hilton? Sure, you’re wealthy and self-made and famous and, I would even argue, a respected activist of sorts. But you can never ever never have sex with anyone without being paranoid about it being used against you. Never. Not ever.

There are so many other bloggers out there who would love to, absolutely are dying to, publish some piece of unflattering dirt about you. It has to make you paranoid every single waking minute of your life.

Is that worth it? It makes me almost feel sorry for him.

22. January 2010

Gawker: The Week Gawker Pretended to Help Haiti

Filed under: Great! Now I have a Gawker Tag, Failure — admin @ 19:27

Contextual advertising FAILs are fun. Contextual posting editorial FAILs are even more fun.

Below, Gawker shows how it’s done:

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Everyone in North Dakota Drunk Right Now, Driving Home

Filed under: No No NO, Real America, Failure, North Dakota — admin @ 09:06

dui-hotline.pngIt’s no secret that ND is the drunkest driving state of all drunk driving states, leading the union in almost all categories, including DUI deaths. But to put some recent statistics in perspective:

The local news here reported that there were about 2,580 DUI arrests statewide in December 2009. Assuming December accounts for a few more than the average month, that is about 30,000 DUI arrests in ND per year.

North Dakota, the second third least populous state, has about 641,000 people, of which about 20% are under 16. That leaves, at most, 512,800 potential drivers. So at a rate of 30,000 DUI arrests per year, every single resident in the state racks up a DUI charge every 17 years.

And that “DUI Hotline” image? Is it from a DUI prevention service? A treatment outreach group? A safe-rides campaign? A way to report suspected DUI? No, no, no and nope. It’s a “DWI Defense Attorney Hotline” where an attorney is ready “to fight for your rights.” Just like this one.

Related:  The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that three in every 10 Americans will be in an alcohol-related crash at some point in their lives.

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