NYPD TV
The New York Police Department has installed about 400 surveillance cameras across the municipality to monitor crime, traffic and sundry other wrong-doings, messings-about and municipal under-accomplishments. So what exactly is the NYPD watching on their new expanded network? Below, the NYPD TV Guide:
MONDAY
Channel 35: Extreme parking tickets. (Special New Jersey license plate edition)
Channel 120: Movie of the Night: Serpico (1973): Al Pacino is an honest cop who fights all comers to blow the whistle on the widespread corruption in the New York City police department. Genre: Fantasy
Channel 77: Your Mustache, Your Life: Proper grooming for best results
Channel 98: Law & Order
TUESDAY
Channel 42: Rousting bums on the F train
Channel 101: Sesame Street
Channel 228: To Protect and Serve: An NYPD original comedy
Channel 120: Movie of the Night: Beverly Hills Cop (1984): Freewheeling Detroit cop Axel Foley goes into the underbelly of Los Angeles to solve a murder. Genre: Drama
Channel 87: The Learning Channel: An in depth look at money laundering
Channel 98: Law & Order
WEDNESDAY
Channel 99: World’s Greatest Buzz Cuts
Channel 120: Movie of the Night: Copland (1997): Overweight New Jersey cop Sylvester Stallone bumbles through a community of NYPD officers who think he’s a nitwit. Shenanigans ensue when fat-boy Stallone mistakenly comes to believe that the officers he so envies are crooked. Genre: Comedy
Channel 356: Surveillance and, like, crimes and stuff
Channel 400: Beatings in the holding cell with Sgt. Miller. (Special Harlem mop handle edition).
Channel 98: Law & Order
THURSDAY
Channel 243: Donuts!
Channel 399: Lieutenant Lou Gives Directions
Channel 200, 333, 180, 181: New York’s Craziest Bums
Channel 300: Police Academy Marathon: Back to back showings of Police Academy (1984), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (1994)
Channel 42: Inside a pizza oven!
Channel 98: Law & Order
FRIDAY
Channel 289: VH1 special on celebrities that own NYPD hats
Channel 102: Maniac Cop Marathon: You have the right to remain silent. Forever. Back to back showings of the best trilogy ever made: Maniac Cop (1988), Maniac Cop 2 (1990), Maniac Cop 3 (1993)
Channel 307: Late Night Drunks
Channel 68: Late Night Drunks
Channel 133: Late Night Drunks even later
Channel 98: Law & Order
SATURDAY
Channel 338: Amazing Rescues Caught on Tape: Cats in trees edition
Channels 133, 150, 398, 399, 400-476: Late Night Drunk marathon (repeat)
Channel 100: Late Night Drunks greatest hits
Channel 12: Defense lawyers hit with sticks
Channel 13: Caught On Tape: Greatest hippie beatings ever
Channel 98: Law & Order
SUNDAY
Channel 10: MTV’s Pimp My Squad Car
Channel 288: Fashion tips with NYPD Blue’s Andy Sipowitz
Channel 321: The Police: Live at Wembley Arena 1983
Channel 80: Sunday Afternoon Movie: Casablanca (1942): French police captain Renault in World War II era Morocco works to solve a murder and theft of documents. Genre: Thriller
Channel 98: Law & Order
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