Did you know the Ritz-Carlton South Beach employs a “tanning butler” who walks the grounds during peak tanning hours applying sunscreen to guests’ nooks and crannies as requested? Well, they need a new one:
“The Ritz is hiring a new tanning butler! “We’re looking to fill the position immediately with someone who’s outgoing, positive, energetic and recognizes the role as a brand ambassador,” said Payer. If you think you fit the bill (Requirement #1: The position is for men only) contact the Ritz-Carlton South Beach for details. It’s a good gig, if you can get it — the last tanning butler is on his way to Italy for an Armani modeling gig.”
From the AP: “CENTRAL FALLS, R.I. — A teacher at a failing school where he and all his colleagues are being fired hung an effigy of President Barack Obama in his classroom, apparently in reaction to Obama’s support of extreme measures to ensure accountability in schools.”
Oh hey, here’s the one of several videos of Wisconsin legislator Jeff Wood getting arrested for DUI. Look out for that first step Jeff, it’s a dooooooozzzzie!
That was my first thought upon entering the post office in the small Wisconsin town yesterday. I was there to mail a package of tax documents. The small post office was overwhelmed with the chirping of birds. Baby birds. Chicks. The post office was full of chirping chicks.
The chicks were all in small cardboard boxes with holes and one of the attendants was weighing each one and posting it. Yes, the chicks were being mailed. It was a bizarre sight and sound. The postman even gave me a look inside one box.
Apparently, the USPS calls this “special handling,” which “is for unusual items that need to be handled specially through the mail – like live poultry and bees. For these items, Special Handling is required. Your package will receive preferential handling to the extent that it’s practical in dispatch and transportation.” (Bolding, mine)
From the Grand Forks Herald: “A Mound man charged with sex crimes for allegedly abusing a female relative has told police it was God’s will that he “marry” the girl when she was just 10 years old… [the man] believes the Bible justifies his actions.
The best part though is the closer: “…attorney, David Risk, says some of his client’s beliefs are outside the norm.”
An Awl reader points out the incredible Apple “goatse” decal nobody will ever, ever put on their computer because GGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHEWKN?KNJAO:WIJMK:L!!!
